Nieman: The dark side of giftedness

When I unlock the door to my clinic at the start of most days, I often wonder what kind of interesting patients I will meet during the day. A great part of a community pediatrician’s job satisfaction is derived from patients and parents who become our teachers; families who are interesting and “entertaining.”

Meeting a gifted child is such an example.

The definition of giftedness is rather broad. Most would consider giftedness to refer to a very high IQ. But it is not that simple. To be comprehensive and holistic, educational experts go deeper than mere IQ and aim to include a wider definition – sometimes referred to as “exceptional.”

If one purely looks at IQ alone, then an IQ over 130 qualifies as having a higher intellect. As is the case with most brain-related conditions (autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety) there is a wide spectrum. Giftedness is no different. An IQ over 160 is considered profoundly gifted.

Whether one only looks at IQ or includes other areas of being exceptional – music, art, dancing and athletics for example – many of these human beings are noted to be self-motivated, curious, persistent (able to persevere), and creative in unique ways.?

Some present with early language development. For example, a two-year-old who speaks in complete sentences.

Some preschoolers are able to effortlessly comprehend a written text and write in sentences without any prompting.

Some preschoolers are excellent with numbers. Recently, a dad who brought in his son, a preschooler, asked the child, “Son … what is 12 times eight?” Barely missing a beat this young fellow blurted out “96”

I remember the look of joy not only on the dad’s face. His bright young son beamed a radiant smile in our direction. In moments like these, I experience what the Buddha meant when he talked about sympathetic joy –the ability to take pleasure in the happiness and success of others.?

Other children present with complaints. They get bored easily and would blurt out, “Why do I have to do the same thing over and over again?” This is especially true when an educator is trying hard to get all the kids in the class to grasp something, and, after a while, the gifted student gets exasperated.

Some gifted students may be very focused on one topic; one area of interest which becomes quite narrow. This may be misdiagnosed as autism (ASD).

Although doctors have a lot to offer in terms of educating families about brain health – the impact of exercise, sleep, nutrition and technology on brain development – these clinicians in my humble opinion fall short, not by an inch, but by miles in terms of helping families appropriately.

Any in-depth research will show how complex the diagnoses of giftedness can be and how often these children have associated issues that need more help than what an MD can offer. In short, if any parent wants to drill down to specifics and have a customized assessment of a child, my advice is to avoid doctors; instead, see a psychologist.

But here is the beginning of below-par care: not all families and not all schools have the opportunity to see an experienced psychologist.

There is also a dark side in that a number of gifted children end up with social-emotional challenges.

I often think of my son, who at age six, was diagnosed to be gifted and to have ADHD. Later, he developed depression and anxiety. Over time, it became severe. His agony led to his choice of dying by suicide. For that reason, I feel that there are two sides to the coin called “gifted.”

It is estimated that a child with an IQ in the range of 160 is twice as much at risk for social-emotional problems as a child with a lower IQ. Children with an IQ between 130 and 144 are at less of a risk.

Some gifted children may struggle with being perfectionistic; some are empaths in such a way that the current sufferings of the world will keep them up at night; they have a deep sense of solidarity with those who suffer; some gifted children look down upon those who “don’t get what is so easy to get.”?

Some may experience loneliness; some like to argue with parents beyond the normal range of a child entering adolescence; some can be misdiagnosed as being narcissistic.

To accelerate some of these children in their development may lead to what some educational experts refer to as “asynchronous development.

It has been said that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Although this may sound poetic at first, I must admit that many of the really exceptionally talented patients I have met indeed have eyes that “scan” their environment differently. They do that mostly with a deep curiosity in ways that make me almost see them as an adult hidden in a child’s body.

Dr. Nieman is a community-based pediatrician with more than 36 years of experience. His third book, Sustained, will be available in November. The book describes a parent’s journey after the death of a child.